Jenny and her partner Freedom
I find it rather interesting that when God laid it on my heart to write this article, the idea of fasting also came to mind. Around this time, Pastor John taught on fasting from the pulpit as well. So, that was very exciting and encouraging to me; I hope you feel encouraged after reading this.
When I was six, I gave my heart to Jesus in a little country church in Kenmore, Washington. I did not know what it meant in totality, but I knew it was a good thing to do. I was raised in a home that was falling apart from the beginning, and my boundaries were shot when my mom told me that she had found another woman’s phone number in my dad’s pocket while doing the laundry. She told me she was not quick to jump to conclusions, as the number could have been very innocent, like someone from work. However, I was only five years old when she told me, which burdened me from that day.
My home was divided. Mom took us girls to church as much as possible while Dad was either working, sleeping, or we assumed he was at the bars. Our house was rather messy, so by the time I was nine years old, I was doing the housework like my loving grandmother had taught me. There were good times, especially during the major holidays such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. During these times we would visit my aunt’s house on my mom’s side, and there would be food for all and lots of it. At Christmas time, my aunt would always have presents waiting for us. These are moments I will treasure in my heart forever. But even when everything was quiet and routine at home, it was not a welcoming place for someone coming home from school.
By the time I was a teenager, we had moved to Snohomish, where I got a taste of country life. Friendly neighbors had farm animals, and some had gardens. I would participate with them in these endeavors, learn from them, and have a lot of fun in the process. This lasted for three years until I decided to go live with Dad, who was living with his girlfriend by this time.
For the first time, I was doing well in school, and once I got my driver’s permit, my dad took my stepsister and me driving quite often in the evening after homework was done! This set-up did not last long, as something was still missing in me. One day, while defying my stepmother, I got thrown down the stairs and fell, ending up with bruises and aches all over. I never looked back. I grabbed my bike and proceeded out the back door, then rode about five miles to my family member’s house, where they took one look at me and went to get Mom. Apparently, the bruises and scratches were extremely visible, and Mom asked me if I was going back, to which I replied, “No.”
I went back to live at my mom’s house to finish my teenage years. It was shortly after that, however, that I learned the life of promiscuity and drug use. My grades went downhill once again. However, I realize God’s grace protected me because in a day when teen pregnancies were on the rise and diseases were rampant, I was spared. I finally dropped out of school for what I thought was a good reason: to get a job.
Then I got back into church and really met God again, and things got cleaned up. Soon after, I met the man of my dreams and, after a normal courtship and engagement, was blessed with a major celebration. We had our first baby exactly one year later. However, things were unsettled financially, so before the baby was born, my husband joined the Army and spent three years serving our country. During that time, things never were totally great in the home. We were discharged honorably and came home to be with family. It was then that I found out I was pregnant. I had just had a horrible miscarriage and was warned not to get pregnant again for at least six months, or I would lose the baby again. We were determined that was not going to happen.
By the time the baby came, we were living mainly on the graciousness of others. Don’t get me wrong; my husband was a hard worker when he was at work. But there was too much downtime, and I was even starting to do jobs on the side for a few extra dollars. We finally got a place through the Everett Housing Authority and lived there for a time, but unfortunately, like so many couples, we separated. Believing it was permanent, I filed for a divorce.
What I could not see at that time was that there was another step in the maturation process that God still needed to take with me. Once again, after starting at a new church, I met the man of my dreams, and we married. However, it is vital to note that we did not have the blessing of our pastor. This should have been a red flag. It turns out he was a neat freak, to the point of OCD, and had mental challenges. Then, one day, I found out I was going blind, and I could no longer sweep the emotional pain I had been enduring under the rug. It became apparent through professional counseling that he was doing all of this to get attention. Looking at how it was destroying the boys and me, I chose a separation. It was during that time that my husband filed for divorce, and I discovered he had done so because he had started dating someone else.
I was then faced with raising my boys as a blind, single mom, and while blind people raise children every day and quite successfully, this was a new scenario for me. The next thing I knew, I was sharing in song and testimony on other pastors’ platforms with a ministry called Simply from the Heart. My own pastor blessed it, and it was very healthy. It lasted seven years, and then we installed a new pastor who did what he called an intervention, and I was so upset that I left the church altogether.
My boys are adults now and live their own lives. I have a daughter-in-law and a step-granddaughter. Do I look back over the years and have regrets? Of course, I do. What does one do when they look in the mirror, and the reflection coming back at them is not what they thought it would be?
First, one must acknowledge that the pain is real and validate that pain in the process. One cannot change what has been because the scars are real, and that’s OK. Then, one must agree with the Bible because when God forgives you, it is done. In Psalm 103:12, the Bible says that as “far as the east is from the west,” He remembers it no more. The East and West never have an ending point, which is what scripture talks about. Jesus puts all that muck under the blood and remembers it no more. Then, it is time to begin cleaning up.
The second thing is to start a pattern of fasting if one can. I learned about fasting as a student at Seattle Bible College. I have always known that the ability existed, but it has not been a pattern in my life until now. Though I will not give complete details, I choose one day a week to eat nothing after dinner and then fast until the following evening at dinner. The more modern-day fasting is to give up something that one spends a lot of time with and use that as a fasting tool. The main thing is that whatever you give up, make sure to spend that time with an attitude of prayer. The reason I choose to fast food is because I tend to eat a lot. But, when I am hungry, God seems to be able to speak to me so clearly, and I have grown a lot as a result.
What does the Bible have to say about fasting? Esther changed the entire direction of a race of people because she asked everyone to fast for three days and then approached the King with her petition. Read the book of Esther. In Daniel 10, Daniel fasted for a situation, and the angel of the Lord was sent to let him know that the answer had been deployed right away. However, the angel was held up by an enemy attack. At the start of Jesus’s ministry, He went into the wilderness and fasted 40 days and nights. He was then confronted and tested by the enemy three times, and then the angels came and ministered to Him (Matthew 4). According to the KJV, in Mark 9, Jesus in answering a question says , “This kind only comes by prayer and fasting.”
I would never suggest this type of fasting, but you should follow all medical advice as you enter this pattern. I am convinced, though, that if the church, individually and corporately, spent more time on this, we would see mighty breakthroughs. I learned all this at Seattle Bible College and encourage each of you to start somewhere.
You see, I said earlier that something was missing in me. What that something was is that my boundaries were all messed up, and I was suffering from severe insecurities as a person in general. That is no longer the case. I now know who I am as a person and am learning more about myself as time passes. I no longer feel insecure as a person, because I know that I am a child of the highest God and loved unconditionally. This was not true before. I know where my provision comes from, and that’s different. I will graduate next June, and I already see doors opening that only God can do.
One last thought: If you have not yet tried Seattle Bible College, I encourage you to do so. You will never be the same. I am graduating with a bachelor’s degree in theology, and this is nothing short of a miracle. Praise God.
Jenny Andersons is a natural born Seattleite and has lived in Washington all her life. She has faced many years of struggles including losing her sight to Stargardt Macular Degeneration. Trusting in God is a daily priority. Jenny has two grown boys, Daniel 43 and Robert 41, and a six-year-old granddaughter Noel. Jenny is seeking her bachelor’s degree in Practical Theiology from Seattle Bible College. Jenny’s favorite hobbies are concerts, time with family and friends, boating, and traveling.
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