We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. . . for our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! (2 Corinthians 4:8-10; 17, MSG)
. . . God gives, God takes. God’s name be ever blessed. (Job 1:20–21, MSG)
“Break Through” acrylic by Olga Bekirov
Per usual, I drove us to my husband’s favorite pancake place for breakfast one Saturday morning. I noticed I wasn’t feeling the best but attributed it to some minor bug, so I moved forward with our plans. However, we left the restaurant early as things were clearly wrong with me. After returning home, slurred speech was the impetus I needed to call 911. I recall the medics arriving, but that was the last thing I remembered before waking up in the hospital. My pastor was peeking around the curtain of my room. I smiled and said, “Hi, pastor.” His face displayed a combined look of astonishment and apprehension. He told me I had been nonresponsive for 22 hours. He then described the following rendition of my ordeal.
Shortly after the pastor heard I was in the hospital with a surmised stroke, he and his wife arrived at the hospital. After entering the Emergency area and hearing a brief report, they realized the gravity of my situation. Things were not pretty in the ER; I was agitated, so the staff restrained my wrists. They were unable to get a clear picture from the CT scan to verify a stroke. The ER nurse told my pastor and wife, “The only intelligible and consistently understandable word she says is Jesus. Obviously, that’s all that matters to her now.” The pastor’s wife said when she looked into my eyes, it was clear my soul was not in my body. My youngest daughter described my eyes as an iridescent blue, but it was apparent when looking into them I was not there. My oldest daughter caught the first flight home from Florida after the doctor told my kids there was little hope I would emerge from the ordeal with much normalcy.
Aside from seeing the restraints on my wrists, I remembered nothing from the ER visit. Instead, during that time, I was lifted into a state of limbo, floating on a soft cushion of blue surrounded by a constantly moving, lacy, dark shadow, which I sensed could be the ring of death. It seemed apparent the dark shadow would give way if stepped on. But I felt safe on the cushion. However, I was perplexed when I noticed the restraints on my wrists; The restraints appeared as chains. I was in bondage, which I had never experienced. I cried to Jesus, “You must heal me, Jesus, set me free from these chains. If you can’t break the chains, nobody can. Greater are You, Jesus, greater are You.’ Little did I know I needed physical healing; God was also healing some spiritual wounds.
Then Jesus showed up—not in physical form but through his voice and the warm presence that surrounded me, and we conversed. The pastor’s wife told me I audibly spoke in my prayer language, noticeably as spiritual warfare, and they silently joined me in agreement. I remember doing that and the calmness that flowed over me like a wave. I knew Jesus was ushering in a spiritual breakthrough when I saw the release of all kinds of addictive paraphernalia, including needles, pills, alcohol, and even foods I had been addicted to, rising into the air above the restraints. I remember saying, “Jesus, this isn’t just for me! You are setting other captives free.” My visit with Jesus ended by him lovingly whispering, “I will never leave you or forsake you, Joyce. During a 22-hour timeframe, I lost a piece of my earthly life, but gained heavenly perspective and, I was not alone!
The pastor and his wife stopped to visit my husband on their way home the evening of my stroke, and the pastor’s encouragement to him was, “My spirit is quickened that with tomorrow being a new day, God’s new mercies will be abundant; let’s look forward with anticipation to see what the morning brings.” He also reiterated those thoughts to the church Board of Administration when he called them to intercessory prayer for my healing. His words turned out to be prophetic the following morning. My pastor broke into a grin as he told me my story of God’s healing touch. I was in the hospital for another three days for observation. Finally, the doctor said, “Normally, we would expect you to have slurred speech accompanied by confusion or limited mobility. None of these exist, so I can’t release you to rehab or home for nursing care without cause.” He was astounded. I responded to him, “Well, it was a miracle, wasn’t it?” An MRI confirmed a significant stroke had occurred.
Following God’s miraculous work, the resultant blessings manifest through how he uses our experiences to further his kingdom. Whatever our experience, his purpose is always results-oriented—an opportunity for him to manifest his glory. Following is how he funneled purpose through my desperate circumstances.
Preparation: First, be careful what you pray for, and expect God to show up in an even bigger way than what you pray! Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20 (NLT). Our spirit-led and spirit-filled pastors of six years had led our small congregation to know and understand the Holy Spirit’s miraculous transformations. However, there had not yet been evidence of a noticeable release of healing in the congregation. So, leaders for three weeks had repented for any hesitancy toward or unbelief some church members still harbored toward healing, and intrigued the Holy Spirit to demonstrate God’s miraculous power in that respect.
I had several issues that weren’t physically apparent that I would love to be healed from, so I even told God that I would be willing to be a guinea pig for healing to dispel the unbelief. Result: The evidence of my healing sparked a faith burst in the congregation. People were hungry for more of God and desired training in the gifts of the spirit. Six months later, our church opened a Saturday morning healing room ministry to the community.
Preparation: Secondly, let me introduce you to Susie, who, on her way to her regular church one morning, observed a sandwich board on the corner directing people to our church. She felt she was supposed to veer off course and go to the service. After that first Sunday, Susie continued to come, knowing there was something different about her experience. She felt the depth of God’s love through the congregation’s warmth. I felt God ask me to help Susie become established in the church. Several weeks later, Susie was visiting her mother on the same hospital floor where I was moved from the ER that evening. As a medical team attended to her mom, she stepped out into the hallway where my pastor and wife were waiting to enter my room. Susie immediately recognized them and asked why they were there. She glimpsed me in my unresponsive state over their shoulders. Susie was concerned about what she saw and left despondent at my condition.
When she arrived at church the following day expecting to hear the worst, but instead, hearing my miraculous healing story, Susie was overcome with joy and said, “I have just seen my first miracle! That’s why I know God brought me to this church. It has profoundly increased my faith.” Result: Several Sundays later, Susie questioned whether she even had a personal relationship with Jesus and gave her life to him. God opened the door for me to disciple Susie through one-on-one bible study sessions over the next few months.
Preparation: Thirdly, through Jesus ministering intimately to me during my near-death experience, I have much more genuine firsthand compassion for those under the bondage of addiction of any type that holds them prisoner. Result: I am so thankful for this Jesus encounter.
I still marvel God spared me from any memory of the chaotic ER stint. Instead, he chose that time to minister intimately. God is SO good.
As Paul reminds us, our troubles produce for us a glory that far outweighs them. God never wastes an experience, whether good or bad. They are building blocks that pave the way for showcasing His glory. How might he use you today to bring testimony from tragedy?
Joyce Olsen (Sonrise Magazine Editor) Author. Majored in Child Psychology and Elementary Education at Biola University and Fresno State University in California. However, her natural bent seemed to better match business and administration. In those fields, she worked in corporate administration, church administration, and also as an Information Security Analyst in the medical field. The focus of her writing is to inspire and provoke thought.
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